A Promise-Keeper

This is a very difficult title for me to write as I felt I’m far off to be entitled as  a ‘promise-keeper’. However, I felt very strongly to write about this for two reasons;

1. I want to speak to myself and remind myself that I need to be that woman of word.

2. I want to see the world re-living and re-adjusting their standard to the very definition of the word.

Merriam-Webster defined the word ‘promise’ as 

A. a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified

B. a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act 

in simpler language the definition of B is explained below. 

reason to expect something <little promise of relief>;especially : ground for expectation of success, improvement, or excellence <shows considerable promise>

Surprisingly, the meaning of vow is closely similar to promise

Vow :  a solemn promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition

A few months ago, post finishing my 40-days-healthy eating-oath. I saw a success in my weight loss. I’ve lost about 7 kg/15 lbs. Old habits die hard, I slowly came back to my previous eating habit of unconscious eating and gained back my weight. It caused me to make another vow of healthy-eating for 5 months.  I promised God to be eating healthy strictly for 5 months because I wish that 5 months will change my old habit of unhealthy eating with some exceptions that I’ve written on a huge piece of carton. I have been yoyo-dieting for about 10 years therefore I’ve learned that most methods don’t work for me. The only way that works is when I’m dependent to God to be eating healthy. That’s why I promised Him so that I can cling to that promise and realize that I shouldn’t play joke with a being who never once violates His promise.

Turned out that even promising to Him doesn’t guarantee that I will walk my promise. I’ve realized that I care more about food than Him. Therefore, I keep delaying in performing my vow. Sometimes I cried and apologized to God for not keeping my promise. But it doesn’t really do anything to me. I do have issues with commitment. And I have been continually praying that God will help me in this area. 

Sometimes I thought to myself, if I couldn’t keep a small promise, how can I keep a big promise. Such a wedding promise/vow. There’s no way, one can keep a big promise if he/she doesn’t used to keep his/her small promise.

This vow is one hard vow for me. However, I know that I know that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. It’s just I’m too hardened to listen to Him. Many times He reminded me to not taking that food that I’m lusting over. Yet, I chose to ignore to Him and fall into temptation over and over again. Because of my ignorance, I became powerless. so very powerless. 

All that I can say that is God is faithful and He doesn’t give up on me.

He just doesn’t.

I ask Him not to.

On Saturday, August 24th, I stumbled upon a verse in Isaiah 66 verse 4

“I will send them great trouble—
    all the things they feared.
For when I called, they did not answer.
    When I spoke, they did not listen.
They deliberately sinned before my very eyes
    and chose to do what they know I despise.”

The sentence “they deliberately sinned before my very eyes and chose to do what they know I despise” stuck out so powerfully. It also reminded me over my deliberate sinning of violating my healthy-eating vow.

I cried. Do you think then I would repent and changed immediately. 

No. 

However, today (Sunday, August 25th is the day of salvation). This is the day that I’m writing to you to let you know that I will do that 5 months. God’s power is greater than my sin nature. I’m not going to give up. NO. 

 This is not just about me. This oath is about being a change I want to see in the world. I’m sad to this worldwide phenomena where promise is no longer sacred. Promise has almost been similar to joke. It’s getting harder to find a promise-keeper. 

A wise person once said, “if you can’t get your miracle, be the miracle

If I find it hard to meet someone who keep his/her promise, I might as well be that someone. Since I also wish that this world is filled with promise-keepers, I better start becoming one to be able to fill it. By being one, I will have the power and authority when I speak to people or even simply being an inspiration to other people. How can I be an inspiration when I don’t have what it takes to inspire other people?

Why don’t you and I take this promise-keeping journey together and inspire the world? 

 

 

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